Help in the Entertainment Era: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END

"The King and his men stole the Queen from her bed,
and bound her in her bones.
The seas be ours and by the powers
Where we will, we'll roam.
Yo ho! All hands
hoist the colors high
Heave ho! Thieves and beggars
Never shall we die!
Yo ho! Haul together
hoist the colors high
Heave ho! Thieves and beggars
Never shall we die!"

The Song has been sung. The brethren court has been called. The nine pirate lords must meet and decide what to do about the hated Lord Cutler Beckett and the East India Trading Company. Beckett plans to extinguish piracy forever. He uses the beating heart of Davy Jones to force the Flying Dutchman into obedience.

While the EIC ships and the Dutchman wipe out pirate ships right and left, the infamous Jack Sparrow and Black Pearl are in Davy Jones's locker to pay off the debt described in the DEAD MAN'S CHEST. But Will, Elizabeth, Tia Dalma, Barbossa, and their dastardly crew have a plan to rescue him - each for his own reason. Barbossa is in because Jack was one of the nine pirate lords and failed to choose a successor before he died. He must be present at the meeting of the brethren to make the stand against Beckett's threat. Will needs the Black Pearl to free his father, Bootstrap Bill, from Davy Jones as he promised. Elizabeth has a guilty conscience for leaving Jack to the Cracken, so she thinks rescuing him will make everything all right. But upon Jack's rescue, everyone demands their own ends. Will's secret deal with Sao Feng, one of the pirate lords, kicks in and the rest of the party is put at gunpoint to put the Black Pearl into Will's possession. But Sao Feng's deal with Lord Beckett comes to light and Mr. Mercer and his men come to the scene. "But you promised the Pearl was to be mine!" shouts Will to Sao Feng.

"So it WAS."

But when Beckett's men take control of the ship, it is Sao Feng's turn to be betrayed. "But you said the Black Pearl was to be mine!".

Mr. Mercer responds, "Lord Beckett will not give up the only ship that can outrun the Dutchman."

Now Sao Feng is angry and thinks all is lost for piracy. "They have the Dutchman! Now the Pearl! What do the brethren have?"

Barbossa is confident. "We have Calypso."

This movie is pretty hard to judge. Davy Jones's lover is revealed, Bootstrap Bill's fate is decided, and it annoys me that everybody (even Mr. anti-pirate Will) is willing to cross anybody to accomplish their own ends. The information shoots at you at the speed of light, making it less story-form and difficult to watch. There is one for-adults-only part that we always skip. Beckett mutters a naughty word. There is, of course violence and stabbing each other more brutally than ever. Everyone I've ever talked to about it says the first and even the second movie is better. So... let your parents watch it first. If they say you can't, just know it's not that worth it anyway.